TIGHTEN YOUR DINs, G.N.A.R. and Ueli Steck

Fri 14th: Up ridiculously early to go to Courmayeur with Andy, Tom Tom, Robyn, Ryan, Charlotte and Ruslan. The resort didn't open until 10:30 and Gabba and the top lifts never opened. Still we made it into the first Gondola of the day. Expectations were high.

Got up to find it dry-hailing. Really weird snow. Super heavy although soft in places. Felt like heavy windcrust. Double ejected first run down the Peindeint chair. Standard. Moved over to Bertolini. Dropped down directly underneath then down by the avalanche barriers. Snow was great fun when un/hardly tracked but pretty hard to manage when it got tracked. Tight trees were difficult due to the heavy snow. Took a big branch smack bang to the face leaving me a bit rattled.

After a few laps of untracked we dropped in for a hot chocolate (in Italy it's just basically melted chocolate) and some of Robyn's home made brownies. Awesome. Went back out, did a few tree laps and a few more down by the breakers.

Dropped into the bowl between Gabba and Bertolini with Ryan. Lost another ski. This time it was nowhere to be seen. NOT COOL. Ryan was already out of the bowl and hadn't seen. I started digging like a maniac after trying to guesstimate where it had come off. After half an hour of hard work the others saw me in my huge hole from the chair and came down to help. Was looking like we were never going to find it but eventually after half an hour Robyn found it. It was less than 10cm from where I'd dug to in the first 5 minutes. Gutting but seriously glad to have found it. Many thanks to all the guys for wasting part of their day helping me.

The search - 3 hours of manpower

Me hugging Robyn after she found my ski

By this point all my gear was soaked and my goggles were covered in snow. I double ejected AGAIN within 50 metres off a drop I couldn't even see. Eventually got to the piste to many laughs. Was told I'd lost many G.N.A.R. points. Decided I may as well make light of the situation and to regain some points so did a (mostly) naked ski.

The weather was... brisk. It was snowing after all. After a lot of wolf whistles, cheers, shouts and cold nipples I made it down to the bottom. Even managed a drop off a shed. Surprisingly only my hands were cold...?

I'm seriously glad I didn't stack here... although
I suspect that's what everyone wanted to see

Business as usual

Had a pizza, did a few cruisy runs (no way I was dropping off piste again with the form I was on) and then headed home for work.

NOTE TO SELF: TIGHTEN UP YOUR DINS.

In the evening Tom Tom, Ruslan, Ryan and I attended the mountaineering seminar on Annapurna featuring Ueli Steck. For anyone that doesn't know about him, he's probably the fittest and most resilient man on the planet. The things he's achieved are beyond comprehension. Talk was a bit of a farce as the promised translation was poor, but I got most of it and Tom Tom translated the bits I missed.

PS. If you haven't seen G.N.A.R. then watch it. IT IS AWESOME. Also the last two photos were taken by Tom Tom... the dirty pervert

Accordions, basejumpers, hiking and neknominations

Weds 12th: After13 hours sleep I was up early to meet Tom Tom, Robyn, Steve and Sparky up at Brevent. And so the most surreal day I've had skiing began...

Sparky had brought his accordion along for the day. Yes, I typed that correctly... Five of us got in the bubble and a random French boarder jumped in. Sparky started the party gondola off with some music and the French guy joined in beatboxing. We went straight up top-bin and Sparky started playing. The whole gondola was nodding and dancing along and he got a resounding cheer as he finished and the doors opened. At the top we got given free water and cookies for someones Neknominate.

Party Gondola

First lap was skiers' right off the Charles Bozon piste. Snow was soft and deeper than expected although some bits had some pretty brutal avalanche debris underneath. Highlight was Sparky playing tunes as we all cruised down. Second lap we traversed to Hotel Face, something I'd heard loads about but hadn't skied yet. After a faff of a traverse (Steve on a monoboard and Sparky on a snowboard) we made it to the top. The terrain is awesome. We picked an untouched line down skiers' right and made our way down. I was allowed the privilege of going first.

Whilst we were getting there some *$%* dropped in from a lower traverse and snaked our fresh line. Pretty angry but oh well. Although hesitant I dropped in. The snow was perfect. Ripped it down a spine, dodging my sluff and the rocks and out into the bowl below. Stopped quite low down incase the slope went. About a minute later I heard a yell and scraping rocks. A cloud had moved in briefly so I had no idea what happened, just that Steve hadn't made it down. S**t. Turns out his sluff had ripped his pole from him and he'd stopped, his board hitting a rock on the way.

Robyn, who had been nervous, made it down fine and stopped by Steve's sluff to find his pole. Monoskiing with only 1 pole in powder is a nightmare, but Steve pulled it off. Impressive. Sparky and Tomtom followed and both ripped it down the slope. Great to watch.

Monoboard and snowboard hiking fun

Tom Tom and Robyn looking down on Hotel Face

Picking our line

Dropping in

Sluffs ahoy

Sparky killing it

Tom Tom killing it

The group and our tracks

By this point most of shaded lines on Hotel had gone so we went back up to repeat our first run. Snow was still excellent and untouched. On the way we saw a couple of basejumpers hiking up above top-bin so we decided to stop, have lunch and watch them from below. I had already eaten so I hiked up to drop one of the boulders above a few times.

After lots of messing around, snow diving / angels and accordion melodies we were worried they'd decided against it. 15 minutes after they'd finished knocking away the cornice we saw a head poke over. It was go time. Two of them flung themselves off within metres of each other and within a few seconds had disappeared down the gorge. Pretty amazing. The first time I've seen it in the flesh.

The others called it after the run down and luckily I bumped into Luke and Will. We dropped off the back of Cornu and traversed over. Will was talking about his Neknominate frontflip. Pointed out that backflips were usually easier. We eventually found a nice natural kicker and after 15 mins work it was ready. Check it out here. Serious balls Will, serious balls. He only overbalanced very slightly sideways otherwise he may have landed it. So close.

Did one more run of Bozon and the snow had refrozen so I got the hell out of there.

Evenful day...

A rollercoaster of a hangover and a moron of a Greek

Tues 11th: Hadn't skied for a while due to poor conditions so I was on it. Made a slightly foolish error the night before and a quiet drink turned into an awesome 5:30am night out. Oops. After a luxurious 2.5 hours sleep I beat Tom Tom, Andy and Joe to the Midi by 10:15. Needless to say I felt AWFUL.

The queue wasn't too bad so after some faffing we made it up to mid-station by 11. Decided that we should get a cheeky lap of skiers' right from the mid-station. After some traversing and a couple of rocks we managed to find our entry (only Tom Tom had skied this side). Snow was great although you could feel the windswept base underneath most of the time. Occasionally you found a perfect, deep pitch which was heavenly. Bottom half of the run was moguled but the snow was really soft. Only the last few 100m were rocky and slushy. On the track out we crossed the couloirs down from mid-station including the one we skied the other day. Every single one had huge slides down it. Sobering. At the bottom I was considering calling it as my hangover was pretty bad, but we got down and walked straight onto the lift. Perfect.

Tom Tom route finding off the mid-station

We skied down that the other day...

At the top we bumped into Steve and Sparky. Our plan was to do Petits Envers but the guided parties had tracked it out. Instead we chose Rognon AGAIN, but it was the best decision ever. I dropped high off the arête. Amazing. Stopped half way down the glacier. Waited for about 20 minutes. Wasn't initially worried as Tom Tom was getting some great footage of us all, but eventually gave the others a call. 

Turns out they'd been called over by a guy wallowing in the powder below the arête. Andy quickly found out this guy had: 

No skis, no snowboard, no crampons, no rope and no safety equipment at all. Oh but at least he had a walking pole... For anyone that doesn't know, this is a disgustingly dangerous and stupid thing to do on a glacier. It can quite easily result in death by falling down any of the 100+m snow-bridged crevasses you're walking across. 

Tom Tom quite rightly gave him a piece of his mind and squashed his idiotic plan of walking down. The PGHM helicopter was called and he had no insurance so I expect he got a huge bill. Unlucky mate.

Eventually got to Rognon to find hardly any tracks. There we found was some of the softest, deepest powder of the season. Absolutely stunning. Everyone had massive smiles on their faces. My hangover had completely disappeared through pure joy. Tom Tom got some great footage of us all. Decided to walk up to the Requiem hut for a spot of lunch and for the exit couloirs. Getting to the couloirs was rocky. Everyone got at least a few scrapes. The couloir itself was great though, especially at the edges. Rest of the run was pretty uneventful apart from Glen Plake and co. flying past us on the James Bond track. 

BEST? hangover day of my life!

Joe up the Midi

Speedrider dropping into the North Face

Andy and Joe walking up to Requiem hut

Todays Chamonix snow report, 40 seconds onwards was our group shot by Tom Tom off the arête and Rognon

Following tracks...

Fri 7th: Had work in the morning to arranged to ski the afternoon with Charlie and Liam. Vis was awful so we went for our first lap off Plan d'Aiguille. Chatted to a few people before we went up to get an idea of the route as none of us had skied it before. Told to follow tracks under the cables then cut off left.

So we made the huge faux pas and followed the tracks of one of the three groups ahead. First pitch was unbelievably good. Really deep and soft snow. So, so good. Maybe the best so far this season. After a few more pitches we hit the trees. Turned out we'd followed the wrong tracks as they hadn't cut as far left as we'd meant to. They also clearly knew the terrain well. Oops.

After an awesome pillow line we ended up in really steep narrow trees mixed with couloirs and dead ends. Parts of it were really nasty going (mainly because we had no idea where we were going). Traversed through / down a few 45+ degree completely bare patches. As we descended the snow was getting heavier and heavier making skiing more and more tiring. Eventually the route 'mellowed' out into a larger couloir, then into another which had been tracked much more. Finally we hit one of the walking paths. Phew.

The last bit down to the main path was just rock so Charlie, who wasn't bothered about his bases, half walked down it. Liam and I decided it was a good time to practice our rope work. I, in particular, was rusty having only had a three day crash course in mountaineering and a summer sport climbing. We rigged up an abseil to a tree and dropped down to the path. I clambered back up quickly for a second go. Definitely good practice and fun.

We finally made it down about 5pm, knackered. We were a full hour and a half late as we'd planned on doing a second run. Oh well. We'd gotten down safely and it had been a good adventure. Definitely a big lesson in being prepared and not blindly following tracks.

Also I feel I should mention that I was really impressed with Liam, who made it down with no fuss despite having far less skiing experience than the two of us. Well played sir. Big balls.

Liam killing the pillow line

Getting steeper and narrower...

Doesn't look much better from below

Charlie enjoying our adventure skiing

Liam in the 'mellow' slopes

Liam on the 'death defying' abseil

Messing around

Confidence in windcrust

Thurs 6th: Up early doors to ski Le Tour (again) with Tom Tom, Robyn and Andy Courtney. Woke up to a bluebird day. Got up to a virtually empty mountain. Amazing.

Started off with two laps by the POMA on the main face. A little flat but the snow was excellent, probably the best of the day. Then up Tête de Balme. Decided to do a quick lap back down the Le Tour side. Very windblown at the top and not steep enough at the bottom. Still really good though.

Dropped into the bowls above the cornices for some seriously crunchy snow, even worse than the last lap. Managed to find a few nice pockets on the way down though. The trees were a lot better with lots of confidence boosting drops. Landings were soft(ish) although moguled beneath on occasion.

Started lapping under the chairlift. Lots of wide open windcrusted pistes with rollers and deposits, perfect if you didn't want to turn / slow down. First lap hit what was for me a biigggg drop to a relatively flat landing. Definitely had a few kittens and jelly legs after. Tom Tom got a nice photo but I let my arms go. Next few times were better but I was alone so no photos. Few more little hits on the way down. The others left after the first run so I did another fast 3-4 laps alone each time going faster and bigger with lots of shifties. Lots of fun!

Met up with Fergle for the last few runs. Overshot one of the jumps into a tree (see photo below). Wiped out to much laughter from the lift above (fair play). Also had another pretty big wipeout trying to slash a big turn in some pretty thick windcrust and just barrel rolled in mid air. Again a few people saw and laughed.

Dropping in on the main face

Fresh tracks all the way

Boosting the confidence

First hit - arms waving

It looks a lot smaller from the chairlift...
To the left of the biggest bush

More of my tracks busting through windcrust rollers
Overshot it third time straight into the bottom tree

NB. All apart from the last two are Tom Tom's photos: Find his Blog here

Variable conditions in 'Scottish Winter'

Mon 3rd: Up ridiculously early for a powder day up the Midi with Charlie, Liam, Jason and Dan. Made it there just after 8:30am and was about 15th in the queue. At 9:10 they announced that the booking system was in effect for the first time this season so our queuing had been pointless... F******g CDMB strikes again. After a desperate rush we managed to get tickets to the 5th bin of the day, watching all the guided groups who'd arrived late leapfrog us. Everyone was pretty pissed off.

Made it up by about 10:30 to the worst conditions any of us had seen on the arête. Visibility was bad and the wind was seriously strong whipping up lots of spindrift. It must have been 100km/h+. Later we found out they closed the lift for the day soon after. -15 degrees + windchill + 3 of the SLOWEST guided parties I've ever seen made the arête torturously cold and slow. Liam, an experienced winter climber, had no problem calling it 'Scottish winter conditions'.

I dropped in high, above the others, to see what the steep pitch was like. Boilerplate... Snow further down the basin was actually pretty nice and not too sticky.

Top pitch of Rognon was excellent as usual. Second pitch was hands down the most variable snow I have ever seen / heard of. We're talking knee deep powder to boilerplate repeated every few metres, all in one lovely flat surface. In the poor vis it looked identical. My ski ejected hitting a wave of windcrust that was so hard it rebounded and flew metres into the air. I've dug my tips plenty of times in heavy snow before but that was something else.

For the rest of the descent we pieced our way down through the heavy powder, some quite enjoyable, some not so much. Charlie missed the exit to Montenvers (not hard in fairness) so we took the James Bond track. The bootpack up was easy although the guided groups were moving slowly again. The track itself was covered with a few rocks poking through. We skied right down to the main road.

It was too late to get a lap of the GM Poubelle in and the mid station was closed, so that was us done for the day. Bit of a let down as we didn't manage either of our plans (Grand Envers and Poubelles) but we did have a pretty good time. Although I made a big deal about the crappy conditions, most of us quite enjoyed it, especially the arête. Felt more like an expedition than a ski.

Me, Charlie and Jason faffing on Rognon

Bottom of the glacier

Liam and Dan getting ready for the hike

James Bond track poses

EXTREME ski luging

Just a quickie…

Sun 2nd: Had 10:30-12-30 off work so ran up to Brevent for a quickie. They're the best right? Always leave you wanting more… skiing. Must be a few innuendos in there. Oops.

Went straight down through the trees to then off the back of Cornu. Visibility was crap. Snow was worse. 10-15cm of dusting on top of crusty moguls / debris. Could have been fun but the near 0 vis meant that you couldn’t see said moguls. Temperatures must have been too warm when the snow started falling. A real shame and a massive let down. I’m guessing GM / Le Tour / Flegere would have been better but I didn’t have time to move on.

 Decided half way down the first run I couldn’t be bothered with this as it was a work day anyway. Left Charlie and headed back home. On the way up the magic carpet the snow beneath looked OK with some nice little features. Thought I may as well have a go seeing as I’d made the considerably effort to get to Brevent. I ended up lapping the bottom 2/3rds of the POMA 5-10x.

It was good fun, although landing blind into chopped up cruddy moguls is a bit off-putting. To highlight how bad the vis was I double ejected almost straight away by driving my tips into a mound I couldn’t see above the airbag. Decided to just go for it anyway from the first lap. Managed to ride out of some pretty big blind jumps, but from time to time I wasn’t so lucky and got a face-full. As the time went on I was going faster and adding some grabs to the mix.

Had a good ski considering I had all but written the day off, glad I went through the hassle of going up. I also really enjoyed how stable the Shiros were compared to my old S7s. I could rely on the big tail when landing hard into some pretty crappy snow, something the S7s tiny pin-tail struggled with.

Remnants of the wipeouts on my face
(vis too poor to bother taking photos)